Saturday, August 27, 2011

The Importance of Donna Reed and Why Too Many Pillows Causes Global Warming

I've been spending an absolutely glorious afternoon vacuuming, and well, I have a few thoughts on the matter:

A) One of the reasons that I haven't vacuumed lately is because I have recently run out of vacuum bags. I am eagerly awaiting the UPS man to bring me some new ones. I normally vacuum ever day or every other day (this is certainly not a sign of how clean we are but rather a sign that we are so slovenly that I am forced to daily adress the visible debris that covers our floor).

In "Nickled and Dimed", Ehrenreich says that the threshold of house size where a family ceases to be able to maintenance their own home is 3,500 feet. Sorry, Babs, but my threshold is like 800 square feet or maybe 600.

Anyway, (and hopefully this doesn't come across as crass but it wouldn't be the first or last time), I just think that if my dad had realized he was going to kick his metaphorical bucket just two months after buying my vacuum, he would have probably bought me a Dyson. I'm sure right now he is kicking himself in heaven or purgatory. But, hindsight is 20 or 20 so there's nothing I could do but borrow the neighbor's vacuum which brings me to point number B.

B) I'm using my neighbor's vacuum. She has used many of my things. It's great. However, people tend to borrow less and less. In fact the other day, my son told me that if I borrowed the neighbor's "slip and slide" for his birthday he would die of embarrassment so I boycotted my Walmart boycott and spent my last twenty bucks on a piece of crap that will be in a landfill in less than a year.

A few months ago, I was watching Donna Reed to mentally prepare myself for a trip to my mother's. Season One Episode Two: what happens? First of all, Donna wears pants thus proving that Mary Tyler Moore was not the first housewife to wear pants on television. However, if it's possible, there's even a more important point than that, and that is this: Donna, who is by profession a doctor's wife, wants to take her son camping, and she does this with a tent from the neighbor.

Borrowing, it's essential. Here's how it works: one neighbor buys one well-made item, and the other neighbors borrow it. As a result, we don't all buy crappily-made items that have been manufactured in China. Thus, we save our manufacturing economy and we put Walmart out of business. It's a beautiful plan, seriously. We just all consume way too much. Which brings me to number C.

C) A few years ago, the Man said that too many throw pillows cause global warming. I, of course, got all huffy as I do when he says something ridiculous. But, I've realized that yes, over-consumption, in the form of pillows or anything else causes global warming.

It's a sick cycle, but my carpet looks good so I can't get too upset about such things.  


  1. I think my favorite part is where you number the lettered points, and I, too, was just thinking of borrowing something from the neighbor. I haven't thought of it in that particular light, but I can agree with the pillow theory. I was thinking, of putting randomly placed comma's and, punctuation, for fun on here, just for, you. :o) Hello, Strongbow! How is it that the few nights I have a cider, or something, are the nights I am talking to, or responding to, you?

  2. How dare you even suggest that constant consumption cannot be sustained! Growth is good and we must always have new, bigger, and better. That's just good economics and you can't argue with that.

    Seriously though, as much as I hate to admit it, my grandmas were on to something with all their conserving and borrowing. Made fun of them growing up, but find myself adopting many of their practices.

  3. Yeah, Meyers, I save all my old butter wrappers to grease my pans. We take home the turkey bones from Thanksgiving to make stock. Ya know, back in the day, you bought a wooden spoon and kept it forever... now, you buy twenty plastic ones, and eventually, they all head to the landfill.

  4. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. -- I have a visceral reaction to too much/many and their converse: too many toys (child AND adult), too many clothes, too many single-purpose household gadgets, too little use of libraries, too little reliance on buses and bicycles and walking, and on and on ad infinitum ...